Category Archives: Manners and Etiquette
As I travel along this journey called Islam my heart is becoming hard; I am becoming cold. Ten years ago I was beaming with light and my heart was wide open, yet somehow throughout the years I have become disillusioned and tired. This is not due to the tenants of my faith, nor does my broken heart lay in any one line of the Beautiful Book. No. It is from the hypocritical, self-righteous and shame mongering individuals in our communities. I am talking about judgement and backstabbing. I am talking about skinny jeans. You know what I am talking about. That girl who doesn’t wear hijab properly, if even at all; is it your duty to tell her? Why do we feel the need to tell her? Do you think she doesn’t know? There are many reasons for people’s appearance, and it is not for anyone but God to judge. Yes, we do have guidelines that are very clear but unless the individual is doing it with pure intentions it is meaningless and void. Islam, beautiful Islam, is a religion based on community, however, it is also based on something else: our personal relationship with our Lord. Each of us has a chance in this life to engage in a beautiful relationship with God, yet I find that it often times becomes congested and clogged with the interference of those who “love us” or who are “just looking out for you.” It really concerns me that most people assume someone is a good Muslimah based solely on hijab/niqab and abaya. Why are we so concerned with condiments and toppings? Where is the meat? Where is the substance? Why do we assume so much? We don’t want Westerners and non-Muslims to judge us, yet we believe it’s okay to harshly judge one another. Did you know that the Muslimah working in that restaurant was physically threatened? And that girl who is wearing hijab with a t-shirt just decided to come closer to her faith last week? Who are we to belittle and attack concerning that which we truly don’t know? Now please, don’t get me wrong. I realise that we believe in reminding one another and encouraging each other to reach our full potential. It’s just that the way we are going about it is all wrong. Anas (RA) said, “I served Rasulullah (SAW) for ten years. During that time, he never once said to me as much as ‘Oof’ if I did something wrong. He never asked me, if I had failed to do something, ‘Why did you not do it?,’ and he never said to me, if I had done something wrong, ‘Why did you do it?” (Al-Bukhari) Abdullah ibn Muhammad ibn Munazil (RA), of the early Muslims, said, “The believer seeks excuses for their brethren, while the hypocrite seeks out the faults of their brethren.” [Sulami, Adab al-Suhba] These two hadith are among many that champion against an unhealthy concern with others. This problem is so pervasive that I often wonder about the intention of the wardens of our beautiful religion. I am truly sorry if this post rubs you the wrong way, but it’s true and somebody had to say it. It may as well have been me. We are supposed to embody the scriptures and live in peace and love with everyone. In my experience anyone who has welcomed me with open arms has always had a much stronger effect on my heart then someone who is attacking me because I am wearing pants in the masjid. A negative approach is wrong and hurtful and it simply doesn’t work. Let’s be friends and grow together.